Kids and Making Decisions

During the first few years in the life of a child, parents make all of their decisions for them.  However, there comes an age when parents must teach the child to make some of their decisions so they will learn how.  Living with the consequences of the kids decisions may prove challenging.  I am a firm believer that about the first or second grade, kids may be given the privilege of making some decisions in their life.

One of the fun events in my grandson and my life is going to the ice cream parlor.  One day after school he wanted a small ice cream cone.  All the way to the ice cream parlor he was talking about a small cone because he was not very hungry.  He just could not decide on the flavor he would order.  I told him "it is your decision - you decide what you want".  I gave him the money and stayed in the car because he wanted to go in by himself, place the order and pay for it.  Before getting out of the car he asked me "what do you think I should get" and again I said "it is your decision". 

When he came out, he was holding the largest waffle cone he could buy with Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough.  My eyes were opened very wide as I said, "I thought you were going to buy a small cone!"  His quick response was "Grandma, you said it was my decision and this is what I decided."  My only response was "you are right".  Of course, he only ate half of it and the other half ended up melted in the trash container.

After the left over ice cream was thrown away in the trash container, I asked him "Do you think you made the right decision?"  His response was "yes, I made the right decision; my stomach was just too small to handle all of that ice cream."  He continued to say, "My brain wanted it, but my stomach did not."

I know parents would have probably handled this situation differently than a grandparent. The parents would of known that their kid was not ready to make this kind of decision yet in his life.  I know he learned a very important lesson through this experience.  When we go to the ice cream parlor and we talk about our order, he always says, "I better check with my stomach to see how hungry it is."

The message is preparing the kids to make decisions. As parents we need to learn our boundaries in gently guiding our kids make decisions, knowing they will make mistakes; just like we do in making some of our decisions in life.  

Rosalie Lynch is a Certified Life Coach who works with parents and kids in figuring out how to live together. You are invited to check out the blog at http://www.thekidsspeakout.com Coach Rosalie reports on issues kids face everyday and how we adults can help them go through their difficult times. She puts humor in her posts and believes adults need to always keep their sense of humor when relating to kids.

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